Faith Allington
If There Are Horses Now
For years you said little
and wrote less
for years you were haunted
by loves you’d lost
the ghosts of friends
the mistakes you’d made
the inadequacies of being undeniably
frustratingly human after all
but you were a poet
so you thought you were more
because sometimes the blood sang in you
carried you into wild fields
of stars with Ceridwen
and horses, oh the horses,
great steeds foaming at the mouth
and sparking at the hoof
to carry you onward,
to discover your other self waiting
in the castle by the sea,
the one you always wrote
not knowing how to return to.
Now it all comes back
the dam bursts
the flood shatters
restraints that seemed
adamant iron but by this light
you see they are only
quicksilver memories,
and if there are horses now
in that pluming foam of water
if you see their sinews in wave-tips
and gold-flecked depths
who would blame you
after all
it isn’t as if
you’d ever stop dreaming
and hearing the reedy voices
of sirens, gods, and muses
teaching you how to be astonished
how to survive these ruins
how to wander this sundering Earth
and still reach for more.
_____________
Faith Allington (she/her) is a writer, gardener and lover of mystery parties. Her work appears or is forthcoming in journals such as Apex Magazine, Flash Fiction Online, Waterwheel Review, Cease, Cows, and Crow & Cross Keys.
Backstory: “When you are an artist, there’s a dichotomy required of you to live in this world while carrying inside you the many worlds you imagine for yourself. It often comes with a feeling of being lost or not quite belonging. This poem was written after a long period of poetic drought and life difficulties. I was inspired by stories like Mio, My Son by Astrid Lindgren and The Weirdstone of Brisingamen by Alan Garner with characters who are swept away into fantasy worlds at last, even if they must sometimes leave them behind again. I hope this poem carries with it a sense of hope and excitement for you—no matter how sundered you may feel, you should always reach for more.”
Editor’s Notes/Image Citation: (From Wikipedia) Ceridwen (pronounced [kɛrˈɪdwɛn] was an enchantress in Welsh medieval legend. She was the mother of a hideous son, Mordfran, and a beautiful daughter, Creirwy. Her husband was Tegid Foel and they lived near Bala Lake (Llyn Tegid) in north Wales. Medieval Welsh poetry refers to her as possessing the cauldron of poetic inspiration (Awen) and the Tale of Taliesin recounts her swallowing her servant Gwion Bach who is then reborn through her as the poet Taliesin. Ceridwen is regarded by many modern pagans as the Celtic goddess of rebirth, transformation, and inspiration. The public domain mage of Ceridwen by Christopher Williams (1873–1934) is found here: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=9408527
Abstract horses print on canvas, western art, equine, made from image of past oil painting by Karen Tarlton (for sale on Etsy, https://www.etsy.com/listing/1441214395/abstract-horses-print-on-canvas-western)
