Tabor Skreslet
Two-Minute Test
Sterile expectant
surfaces enclose
medbay lab
chemical reaction
waiting woman
waiting
two minutes
I know that I skipped it I’ve been counting so well tracking cycles
do I feel different should I feel different yet it’s too soon maybe
what if it is what if it isn’t what if I can’t what if I can but it goes wrong
so many ways to go wrong the terrible unknown but the void is known
the void without this the missing the lack the cavernous aloneness
the attrition of only loss with no gain to balance the equation
Blue bar
straight line
uncrossed lover
empty viscera
crying for
herself
and more
I didn’t want it yet not here in this bleak place this lost outpost
so negative is good right it’s good for right now but what if it’s never
when does not yet become never when is the last chance lost
what if all of us are empty here what if our cycles can’t sync to other
moons what if red dust clogs our fallopian fronds what if our pairs’ sacks
dispense nothing but dead swimmers here one radiation hit too many
Another month
another try
new device
same reaction
waiting woman
two
more minutes
Why must it take so long why haven’t we invented a better test
by now we’ve learned how to mine these desolate rocks after all
so very far from home but no I correct myself this is our home now
I should have let him come with me to the lab like he offered I thought
his earnest eyes would make the waiting worse but I wish for him now
his warm hand on the back of my neck warm lips oh it’s ready
Now crossed
two lines
an intersection
crying laughing
woman draws
two
deep breaths
I stare and stare it won’t quite sink in I shelter a tiny clump
of ravenous cells nestled in a vascular cradle too fragile to carry
all our hopes but it must all joy is a thin veneer over terror
I tell myself we can do it we can do it our pair our people we can do it
the last chance is not lost so much can go wrong but here’s a start
a plus sign for our equations a small pulsing brightness in the void
_______________
Tabor Skreslet is a physician, scientist, teacher, and writer. She grew up in Egypt and currently lives in Charlottesville, Virginia. Her work has appeared in Star*Line, Oracle, Cordella, and Intima.
Author’s Notes and Backstory: This poem originated from my experiences as a physician counseling patients going through fertility challenges. For this poem, I ventured into the speculative realm of a remote, inhospitable outpost where fertility may impact the future of an entire community. The structure of the poem balances the stark reality of the medbay in short, staccato lines with interludes of the individual’s perspective in longer stream-of-consciousness lines. This work acknowledges the doubt and fear associated with bringing children into the world while offering a spark of hope, a brave optimism in the midst of adversity.
Editor’s Comments and Image Citations: The image is a symbolic collage of woman (pngtree.com), plant (Peter Olexa/Unsplash), complex chemistry molecules (pngtree.com).
I was unfamiliar with the intriguing term, medbay lab. A simple search showed that a “medbay lab” can refer to a room in games like Among Us, Space Station 13, and Fallout Shelter.
